Paternal Bonding: Tips for New Dads to Bond with Your Baby

Becoming a dad is one of life's greatest pleasures. And, while the idea of holding your newborn for the first time might sound like an instant heart-melting moment, bonding with your baby doesn’t always happen overnight—and that’s completely normal. To help you better understand, we'll discuss key insights on paternal bonding and some practical tips to help you strengthen your connection.

What is Paternal Bonding?

Paternal bonding is the emotional connection and relationship between a father and his child. It's built through consistent involvement, nurturing, and meaningful interactions, starting in infancy and continuing throughout the child’s life. Although it can take time to develop, this bond plays a critical role in childhood development.

For fathers, paternal bonding fosters a deeper sense of purpose and emotional fulfillment, enhancing their role in the family dynamic. It also encourages shared parenting responsibilities, leading to a more balanced and supportive family environment.

How Do Paternal and Maternal Bonds Differ?

It's equally important for both mothers and fathers to bond with their babies, but the timelines for both can vary. Some studies have noted that fathers may not feel like they're experiencing fatherhood until birth (or beyond), while mothers start experiencing motherhood as soon as they find out they're pregnant. While this is likely due to the simple fact that pregnancy and fetal development occur within a woman's womb, fostering an internal attachment, it can make fathers uncertain in their role until delivery. Other studies found that expecting fathers active in prenatal health checkups (i.e., ultrasound images and heartbeats) did increase the feeling of paternal bonding.

Moreover, new dads expect to feel an instant bond with their newborn, often upon first seeing them, but this isn't always the case. Some fathers found that they still did not feel a bond with their infant until as long as six weeks to two months after birth. However, it seems that in these cases of delayed bonding, postpartum depression may have been at play. While people typically reserve these feelings for new mothers, paternal postpartum depression was found in about 10% of men and tended to be relatively higher in the three to six-month postpartum period.

The Importance of Paternal Bonding

While several things can make it more challenging for first-time dads and babies to bond, that doesn't mean this paternal connection is less important. The opposite is true. Father-infant bonding has been shown to have several benefits for the baby's development and overall health. Some of the most notable benefits include:

• Emotional Development — Strong father-child bonds contribute to a child's emotional security, self-confidence, and resilience, which continue to strengthen with age.
• Cognitive Growth — Engaged fathers often help their children develop better problem-solving skills, language development, and academic performance.
• Behavioral Benefits — Children who have a healthy bond with their fathers are less likely to engage in risky behaviors and more likely to exhibit positive social behaviors.
• Healthier Relationships — Paternal bonding sets the foundation for children to build healthy relationships with others later in life.
• Mental Health — A strong father-child connection reduces the risk of anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues in children.
• Father's Well-Being — Bonding benefits dads, too, improving their emotional health, sense of purpose, and satisfaction in parenthood.
• Long-Term Impact — Strong paternal bonds often lead to lifelong, supportive relationships between father and child well into adulthood.

Tips for Dads to Connect With Their Babies

Bonding with your baby doesn’t always happen instantly, but the good news is that there are many ways to strengthen that connection over time. Here are some great tips to help you get involved and strengthen your bond with your new baby.

Be Present Throughout Pregnancy

Expecting fathers are more likely to bond with their babies during pregnancy when they're heavily present. So, what does this look like? First, spend more time talking to your baby in the womb. Babies can hear sounds from the outside world around 27 to 29 weeks of pregnancy. Talking, singing, or even reading to your baby in the womb can help them recognize your voice once they’re born. It can also make you feel more connected to them.

Another important part of parental involvement is going to significant appointments. Attending prenatal appointments and ultrasound visits can also help dads feel more connected to the pregnancy experience.

Take Paternity Leave if Possible

If your workplace offers paternity leave, take advantage of it. These early weeks are crucial for bonding with your newborn and establishing your role as an active caregiver. Plus, it's a great way to help support your partner after childbirth. After the baby is born, things can get a little hectic, so being around mom and baby can make a big difference for everyone. Even if paternity leave isn’t an option, try to carve out as much time as possible to be home and involved.

Get Plenty of Skin-to-Skin Contact

Skin-to-skin contact isn’t just for moms—it’s an excellent way for dads to bond with their babies, too. Holding your baby against your bare chest helps regulate their body temperature, breathing, and heart rate while making them feel safe and secure. To help mimic the bond from breastfeeding, engage in skin-to-skin contact while offering breast milk from a bottle.

Interact With All Senses

Newborns experience the world through touch, sound, and sight. This is why sensory play is so important to early development. However, it can also increase your ability to bond during early childhood. Holding your baby, making eye contact, gently rocking them, and speaking in a soothing voice all help create familiarity and deepen your connection.

Make Time for Play

Even in the first few months, playtime is essential to bonding. Simple activities like making funny faces, singing songs, or engaging in tummy time help stimulate your baby's development while strengthening your relationship. Adjust playtime activities to their developmental stages as your child grows into a toddler. Here are some great activities to help you jumpstart learning while strengthening your bond.

Try Babywearing

Babywearing is another great way to help babies and young children feel closer to their dads. You can use a baby carrier, but a sling allows for closer contact, which can benefit you both. The rhythmic movement of walking with your baby strapped to you comforts them, and it gives dads a chance to participate in caregiving while staying hands-free.

Soothe Your Baby During Times of Distress

Although mothers tend to be seen as the soothing force in a family dynamic, dads can help too. Responding to your baby’s cries with comfort and reassurance helps build trust and gives them two secure parenting figures to build their confidence. Whether rocking them, swaddling, or softly shushing, learning how to soothe your baby will strengthen your bond and make them feel safe in your presence.

Talk to Your Baby

Your voice is one of the most comforting sounds to your newborn. While it might feel weird initially, talk to your baby throughout the day. Describe what you’re doing, or simply talk to them as if they understand every word. This helps with language development and strengthens your bond over time.

Help Out With Feeding

Even if your partner is breastfeeding, you can still be involved in feeding time. Offering a bottle, burping your baby, or being present during feeding helps establish your role as a nurturing caregiver. Your partner will appreciate this, as you can share feedings in the middle of the night.

Participate Fully

Bonding happens in everyday moments, so get involved with everything. Change diapers, bathe your newborn, participate in the bedtime routine, and share all the responsibilities with your partner. You want to demonstrate a similar role as a mom and be able to comfort and provide security in the same way.

Get Support When Needed

If bonding feels difficult or if you're experiencing signs of paternal postpartum depression, don’t hesitate to seek support. Talking to your partner, joining a dad support group, or speaking with a healthcare provider can help you navigate any challenges.

To help you make the most out of your father-bonding moments, order an insurance-covered breast pump from Byram Healthcare. With breast pumping, new fathers can share the role of feeding during long nights or whenever they need extra one-on-one time. Browse our breast pump comparison chart and start the ordering process today.