The 4 Types of Parenting Styles to Know

New parents often struggle with learning to speak to their children, set rules, and provide a positive example. It's completely normal, especially with your first child. However, how you decide to handle situations will greatly impact your child's overall health and development, so it's worth considering ahead of time. Consider the four primary types of parenting styles to help you and your partner create a cohesive environment filled with nurturing and love.

What is Parenting Style?

Parenting style refers to the combination of strategies that parents use to raise their children. These styles encompass the attitudes, behaviors, and values parents instill in their children through interactions and discipline methods. The concept of parenting style isn't just about how strict or lenient parents are; it's also about the emotional climate they create for their children and how they communicate with them.

Researchers have identified several distinct parenting styles, each with unique characteristics and effects on child development. Understanding your parenting style can help you recognize your approach's strengths and weaknesses, enabling you to make more informed choices that can positively influence your child’s growth.

Why is Parenting Style Important?

Parenting style is crucial because it shapes a child's overall development, influencing their emotional well-being, behavior, and personality. How a parent interacts with their child can have lasting effects, from shaping their self-esteem and academic success to determining their ability to form healthy relationships in adulthood.

For example, a supportive and nurturing parenting style fosters independence, resilience, and social competence. At the same time, more rigid or uninvolved approaches can lead to issues such as anxiety, depression, and behavioral problems.

Four Types of Parenting Styles and How They Affect Kids

People can choose to follow a specific parenting style, or they may just fall into one naturally. While there's no right way to parent, each approach has pros and cons. The four main parenting styles also tend to work on a scale. Parents may completely embody one of the four parenting styles or exhibit features of each depending on their mood, environment, and other external factors. Consider the four primary categories below to help you choose the best parenting style that works for you.

Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian parents tend to rely on strict rules and stern discipline. Their parenting style is based on obedience and is sometimes seen as a dictatorial approach to raising children. Essentially, the decision-making power lies in the hands of the adults, and kids don't really get a say, regardless of the decision. Parents may also set rules without explaining why the rule is in place.

Children of authoritarian parents have high expectations and, when not met, can result in punishment or consequences. Authoritarian parents don't tend to be very nurturing and may not consider their children's needs when making decisions.

While rules and consequences have benefits, the lack of freedom to make mistakes in this parenting approach can impact a child's development and result in low self-esteem, indecisiveness, poor social skills, lack of control over their emotions, hostility, aggression, and other mental health issues. Research shows that an authoritarian approach may also lead to higher rates of substance abuse as children grow into adults.

Permissive Parenting

Permissive parenting is kind of on the opposite end of the spectrum. While permissive parents may set rules, they don't tend to follow through with enforcement. They might be seen as the "cool" parents as children become teenagers because they don't provide consequences for acting out or breaking the rules. They're extremely lenient.

Typically, a permissive parent will let their child do whatever they want and view interference as hindering the learning process. They don't enforce rules and will rarely discipline children. Essentially, permissive parents let their children take the wheel. This means that children tend to get what they want, especially if they beg or make a promise.

Children of permissive parents are more likely to lack personal responsibility and disrespect authority figures as they age. This can result in difficulty with making decisions, impulsiveness, anxiety, depression, and problems with school or learning. Since children are used to getting what they want, they can become entitled, selfish, or egocentric adults who don't put in much effort. Due to the lack of being told what's best or enforcing rules, children of permissive parents may have more health problems, such as obesity, dental health issues, or unhealthy sleep patterns.

Authoritative Parenting

Authoritative parents are more likely to combine a mixed parenting style that focuses on boundaries with certain decisive freedoms. They set rules and create boundaries meant to help guide their children while allowing open discussions. Essentially, they validate their children's emotions and allow for communication while remaining to be an authoritative figure who ultimately makes the decision.

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and other experts recommend authoritative parenting. Research has shown that children of authoritative parents tend to develop healthier, resulting in better long-term outcomes. Positive discipline strategies enforce positive behavior, but children will still need to face the consequences of their actions.

Typically, authoritative parents set clear expectations for their kids but remain nurturing. This creates a foundation of confidence and helps children focus on their success independently of their parents.

Research has shown that many parents who adopt an authoritative approach tend to raise resilient, self-esteeming, and academically excelling children. These children grow up to be responsible and respectful of authority figures, with strong emotional intelligence and the ability to communicate their feelings without anger or resentment. Many children raised using this parenting style will also grow up to have close relationships with their parents and tend to be more self-reliant than others.

Neglective Parenting (or Uninvolved Parenting)

Neglectful parents are typically uninvolved in their children's lives. They may ignore their children altogether and be unable to describe their children's behavior to outsiders. They don't provide guidance or nurturing and expect their children to raise themselves. Aside from the most basic needs, neglectful parents don't provide much else.

Although this isn't always intentional (e.g., busy work schedules or substance abuse issues), neglect typically leads to one of the worst outcomes for childhood growth and development. Often, neglect can lead children to substance abuse, delinquency, and an overall attitude of rebelliousness. They tend to get in trouble at school or with the law and have lower rates of empathy and academic success.

Different Subtypes of Parenting Styles

Several subset types of parents have also emerged in recent years. These styles often reflect cultural trends, societal pressures, or specific beliefs about what children need to thrive. Here’s a brief overview of some of the most notable subtypes:

Helicopter Parenting

Helicopter parenting refers to parents being overly involved in their children’s lives. These parents tend to "hover" over their children, closely monitoring every aspect of their lives, from academics to social interactions.

While this approach can ensure children are well-supported, it can also lead to dependency, anxiety, and a lack of problem-solving skills as children grow up without learning to navigate challenges independently.

Attachment Parenting

Attachment parenting is centered on building a strong, emotional bond between parent and child from birth. This style emphasizes practices such as co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding, and responsive caregiving to foster a secure attachment.

Proponents believe that these practices lead to emotionally stable and confident children, though critics argue that they can be exhausting for parents and may limit a child’s independence.

Free-Range Parenting

Free-range parenting gives children more freedom and autonomy, encouraging them to explore the world with minimal parental intervention. This style is rooted in the belief that allowing children to make decisions and take risks is crucial for developing independence and resilience.

For example, free-range parents may allow their children to walk to school or play outside without supervision. While it can foster self-reliance, there is ongoing debate about the potential safety risks and societal pressures against this approach.

Lighthouse Parenting

Lighthouse parenting balances guiding children and allowing them to make their own choices. Parents act as beacons, providing steady guidance and support while allowing their children to navigate their paths. This approach encourages independence, decision-making, and critical thinking while ensuring that children have a strong foundation of support to fall back on when needed.

Snowplow Parenting

Snowplow parenting, also known as bulldozer or lawnmower parenting, involves parents who try to remove all obstacles from their children’s paths to ensure their success. These parents are highly protective and often go to great lengths to prevent their children from facing difficulties or failures.

While this can lead to short-term success, it may also result in children who lack resilience, problem-solving skills, and the ability to cope with setbacks.

Tiger Parenting

Tiger parenting is a strict, high-expectation approach that focuses on discipline, academic achievement, and pushing children to reach their full potential. While tiger parenting can lead to high achievement, it can also cause stress, anxiety, and strained parent-child relationships if the pressure becomes overwhelming.

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