Announcing You’re Pregnant: When & How
The first of the many parent decisions made often begins with how to go about announcing you’re pregnant. This decision is obviously up to each set of parents.
However, here are some things to think about when deciding what the right time is for you.
Telling in the First Trimester or Right Away
Maybe you are one of those expectant mothers who are so excited to announce you’re pregnant that you simply cannot wait to tell.
On a positive note, friends and family are able to share in the initial excitement. Also, there will be no need to lie about why you’re exhausted, gaining weight, or passing on certain foods and alcohol.
Waiting for a doctor’s confirmation until announcing your pregnancy is protocol. It’s best to be sure, plus hearing that little heartbeat inside of you makes it feel incredibly real. This adds to the experience of announcing your pregnancy to friends and family.
Plus, the doctor should give you your due date. This is something that people will likely ask right away once you announce you’re pregnant.
Some moms who wait to announce they’re pregnant can run into problems; especially if they are experiencing morning sickness on a regular basis. It’s better to share the news with your boss early on (so they don’t think you are skipping out on work).
This is something that only should be shared if you are having morning sickness or must miss work for some other pregnancy-related reason.
Announcing You’re Pregnant at the Workplace
If your profession involves being around things that are unsafe for your pregnancy, you must tell your boss so proper arrangements can be made accordingly. This will ensure you’re able to avoid the hazardous areas or movements.
When you do decide to announce you’re pregnant to your boss – make sure that you are specific about your plans.
If you plan to continue working, let them know and research the maternity leave policy. Come prepared because it will show that you take working there seriously.
Fear of Miscarriage
Often one of the biggest reasons for waiting to announce you’re pregnant is because of the risk of miscarriage being higher in the first trimester.
Those women who have a good support system may decide to share right away. In the unfortunate event that you do miscarry, the support could help you through an emotional time.
Also, having to share that you miscarried can be increasingly difficult if no one knew you were pregnant in the first place.
It can also be awkward if someone else takes it upon themselves to go about announcing you’re pregnant, but you weren’t okay with them spilling the beans.
Lots of people may congratulate you, and then you will have to share about your miscarriage. That is a situation worth avoiding.
Telling Those With Fertility Trouble
Announcing you’re pregnant to your friend who is struggling with fertility can be a tricky situation, but it’s important to handle it appropriately. If they are a close friend, don’t put it off, ensuring they are the last to know.
Why?
Because if they hear the news from someone else, that could hurt their feelings. Just be straight forward, yet empathetic.
Beyond announcing you’re pregnant, they may not want to hear constant updates. If this is indeed the case, try and be understanding. While this is an especially happy time for you, it may be a difficult reminder for them.
Waiting until the Second Trimester or 20 weeks
While some mothers just can’t wait to tell, others have been hurt from sharing too early or miscarrying.
An older woman who is pregnant has a higher risk of miscarriage and therefore, often will wait to share their news until the risk is significantly reduced.
If you are at a higher risk and want to wait on announcing you’re pregnant, take solace in knowing that roughly 80% of miscarriages occur in the first trimester.
At the end of the first trimester – about 12 weeks – the risk of miscarriage drops dramatically. This is why you may proceed with announcing you’re pregnant at this time, as so many women do.
In the end, it all depends on the parents and whether or not they want to talk about it, as there will likely be people who ask how the pregnancy is going, even a few weeks after the miscarriage occurs.
Dealing With Awkward Situations
It can be awkward and emotional, but that does not mean others are not allowed to talk about it. Making someone keep their highly emotional news to themselves can be harsh.
Some women who have waited until the second trimester to announce may have already been asked if they are pregnant. After all, it is common for expecting moms to start showing before the start of the second trimester.
Putting off spilling the beans can have its perks.
Waiting until the second trimester to announce you’re pregnant reduces the chances of receiving unwanted advice. People who love giving advice (I’m sure you know one or two!) may still find the time to do so, even if you wait to announce you’re pregnant on your way to the hospital to give birth.
Just learn to smile through it.
Dealing With Others
Remember, when you go forward with your pregnancy announcement and your older relatives start giving advice, they come from a different time.
First-time moms can get overwhelmed with horror stories of what pregnancy, birth, and parenting was like. The medical world has progressed leaps and bounds since your grandma, mom, or Aunt Sue gave birth. Don’t fret over it.
Prenatal Testing
Yet another reason to wait on sharing your pregnancy announcement is so you are able to have prenatal testing, such as amniocentesis, which is available around 16-18 weeks.
While not all women may feel this way, some may choose to terminate their pregnancy because of the high risk of genetic defects. Having to share the news of terminating a pregnancy would be an added stress factor to an already difficult and personal decision. Waiting to announce could avoid this.
Waiting until the Third Trimester
While waiting until the final stretch to announce you’re pregnant isn’t common, it also is not unheard of.
This is obviously achievable if you do not see the people you are keeping the news from. These types of situations are likely to occur between people that do not have a strong relationship or have had a falling out.
Announcing a pregnancy early on can sometimes lead to hurt in the pregnant woman’s professional life.
While it is illegal to be fired because of pregnancy, it still may affect the hours or responsibilities of a pregnant woman.
Not all workplaces are supportive of pregnancy. And not all roles are conducive to carrying a mini-human in your womb. An advertising executive, for example, could be kept from getting high-profile clients, while a hairdresser may lose clients altogether.
Even if you don’t announce you’re pregnant, it still may be visible to the people you most often spend time with. Should you refuse to talk about it come hell or high water, it could end up being the pink elephant in the room. Assertive people may begin to ask why you aren’t announcing you’re pregnant when it is so painfully obvious to most.
Mixing It Up
Commonly, women will tell different people at different times.
Family and close friends will likely be the first to hear the exciting news, while work and the rest will find out later on.
The disadvantage to this approach could be that the news may get out without you being able to tell people personally. If you aren’t able to get out in front of this, it could hurt some feelings.
When you begin telling your close circle, be sure to stress that you want to be the one to share the big news. It’s a good way to avoid a news leak on social media.
Announcement Ideas
Social media has given us many ideas on how to announce, by showing videos and/ or pictures of the big reveal. Pinterest is especially popular for creative ideas surrounding pregnancy.
Here are a few pregnancy announcement ideas:
Giving a gift
Whether you are telling your significant other or parents, giving a gift that says their new name could be the perfect way to let them know that a little bundle of joy is coming their way.
Surprise pregnancy photo shoot
Whether you are telling your significant other or parents, holding up a sign saying “you’re going to be a Grandpa” (or whatever they are becoming) is a special way to announce. You can have a photographer catch their genuine response.
Balloons
Whether you are waiting to announce your pregnancy until you know the gender – or you have struggled with fertility – this is a great pregnancy announcement idea.
Fill a box with balloons that are pink, blue, or all the colors of the rainbow (for women who have struggled with infertility) and open the box to reveal the gender or announce your pregnancy. This is perfect for announcing on social media with either a picture or a video.
Conclusion
Deciding when and how to tell others is one of the first choices you will face when pregnant. Ultimately, the decision rests with you and your partner. There is no right or wrong way, only what is most comfortable for you.
No matter how you decide to announce you’re pregnant, don’t let it stress you out. There will be plenty of other choices to come beyond your pregnancy announcement.
